:) or :( ??

i find myself stepping deeper and deeper into a hole..
i don't want that to happen for i know it'll hurts me though it is a place where i can find my happiness..

u're haunting me day and night..
sometimes..
u're torturing me indirectly..
u're hurting me indirectly..

i've tried my best to bring out the best in me..
but i don't know if u'll ever realise it or appreciate it..
i'm tired.upset.fed up.

forward!forward!FORWARD!

i realised something today...
i'm moving backward.not forward.

as i do my muet essay today, i'm nervous and panic.i don't know why..
i've got lots of idea in my head but as i write, i'm stuck for a few minutes thinking hard what is the best word to use and try to make good and proper sentences..
but wth nothing came out and my hand begin to shiver and i keep taking a glance on my watch and see the time passes so fast and yet i'm still stuck in the second paragraph .
i think i'll get 20/60 for my essay.serious.it is that bad.
i'm disappointed with myself.fuk.my muet exam is coming.left 3 weeks + only..
i'm not ready at all!!!

well.i'm taking bm as my extra subject for i hope it'll help me to get a better cgpa in stpm if my mathematics kantoi.but it proves me wrong.when i do the objective questions in my tuition i don't know anything and has to refer to the revision book and search for the pages like mad!
i'm so so dead!!

how am i going to sit for my stpm???
now is already in the month of APRIL and yet i feel so lost!!!
i need to regain my spirit back!
i need some motivations!
come on.lets waste no time!
i don't want to disappoint my mum!i know she loves me the most :(

i wanna make her PROUD!!

it reflects my feelings

"Untitled"

I open my eyes

I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light

I can’t remember how

I can’t remember why

I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain

And I can’t make it go away

No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I’ve got no where to run

The night goes on

As I’m fading away

I’m sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming

I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I’m slipping off the edge

I’m hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

And I can’t explain what happened

And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done

No I can’t

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I’ve got no where to run

The night goes on

As I’m fading away

I’m sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me