Start of something new

thanks mummy...
thanks sis..
i'm sorry for not telling u my problems.
when u said u feel sad because i rather tell my problems to others but not u who are my family my heart feel pain and touched at the same time..
i just don't want the 2 of u to worry about me and i don't know how to tell u all my problems.
i'm sorry for making u disappointed..
starting from now on, i'll share it with u..
i never thought u all will be so worried about me.i'm sorry..

i'll be strong..i'll be independent..i'll be tough..
i'll study and don't want to be lazy anymore.
my dearest future is awaiting for me..
i don't want to care so much anymore.
i'll just concentrate and go through this 9 months time no matter how hard it is..
i will..i will do it..
papa,mama,jie jie,..i know u all will support me and be there for me no matter what..
darling..please don't leave me alone when i needed u the most and i know sometimes i've disturbed u alot..i don't mean it.i'm sorry..i think too much..please give me some encouragement when i need it..
friends..thanks for all those who keep encourage me and support me..thanks alot..

i wanted to throw away all my sin..
i wanted to be a good person..
from now onwards, i'll try my best to be an optimistic person.
no more negative thoughts..
if i do that again please scold me or advise me..
stpm..here i come...

-chiew bee-

friends....
sometimes they're the one who makes you happy...
sometimes they're the one who makes you sad or even feel hurt..
i feel hurt now.i feel miserable now.i feel sad now.
i don't know why they can be so cruel.very cruel.
my heart feel pain.real pain.feel like running away from them.faraway from them.
i don't know what i've done.i thought everything would be fine this year.
..the way u look at me is like looking at a stranger..u even said i'm a stranger.i'll remember it forever.thanks for saying this.it makes me numb.what i've done until you do this to me?i really don't understand.it is all started when i talked to u and u seems to ignore me then i ownself pull myself out from your world.hurtful.u even asked me whether u still got owe me money or something still.haha.seems like u really wanna forget our friendship and give me back everything.when i saw that message i'm fucking angry.
i feel funny at times how all this would happen.its like a high school stories that we always watch in tv..i thought all this quarrelment won't happen when we enter form 6 because i think we're already mature.but seems like my point of view is just so wrong.more friendship problems occur.i really don't know why..

by the way..i hate fakers and bootickers or flatterers..
in front of u they pretend to be so good to u but behind u.haha.backstab u.
some flatterers are just so fake.if she likes someone, no matter how ugly is her thing or how wrong she is, she'll still say 'owhh..so nice..' or support her until don't know like what.this kind of people can only be a friend to play with but not a friend to share our problems.
aww..i can't stand this kind of people..
this kind of people are easily influenced by other people and don't have their own attitude.
i know me myself is not perfect.not perfect at all.
therefore i'm changing myself by not losing my identity..

i begin to understand life..
people go and come into your life everyday..
nowadays when i buy something, i buy it because i like it and won't think 'should i buy this?later my friend says this and that....'
i wear what i wanna wear and what i'm comfortable in..
i hope i can faster get out from school and enjoy my life..
maybe last time i should enter college instead.
i'll try to be a positive and optimistic person!!!!!!
chiew bee!!!!gambateh~~~!!!!!

i miss you syndrome

dearest wong chor jaur.....
i miss u alot.every weekend also u got come back but tis week u can't make it...
makes me sad and miss u more... :(
i wonder next time when u got internship that time how...
i can't see u 4 almost 3 months..
how am i going to go through the days?sobs.
i like friday the most because i can see u..but i hate sunday because that is the day we have to say goodbye.. :(
my heart feel so unwilling to let u go.those feelings are indescribable.
i even cry at night when i look at my hp wallpaper.i wish u could be by my side and hug me sleep..
i even miss your funny voice when u sing.sometimes when i switch on the radio and hear some songs tat u used to sing, it makes me laugh. :)
u're the one who gives me inspiration..motivates me...
love u chor jaur..